Friday, February 21, 2014

Up

I wish I could report that the chapters of the novel have matriculated out of the teens, but I've yet to write chapter 20. It was very much uphill for a while, and it's still uphill, but where before I toiled in the shadow of clouds surrounding seemingly limitless peaks, now I can see the character of the heights I've almost reached. When I set out to finish off the series, I had a lot of goals, and the first among them was to finish things up well, to put as much energy into this last book as I did every book leading up to it combined. To the end of getting everything down with a significant degree of verisimilitude, I went back and read all the previous novels. I think it's paid off, but at this point I've done this enough to know that the first draft is only the first draft; it's a long way removed from an idea and an empty page, but still far afield of a published book. Still, I can see daylight, and I'm happy about it.

I've also moved, here in the new year. The process has been a bit like Christmas when I was very small. The day came when I had many boxes to open, and each was a mystery, yet I knew all of the items contained were mine. Unpacking has been interesting, and I've gained great insight into how I'll move in the future, which is good, because 2014 has brought with it a lot of uncertainty and guarantees of change. I guess it's something that would be good for me to get used to.

Hobby wise, I swapped one game for another, the first I abandoned as an adult that was taking a realistic look at how I spent my time and how much it was worth to me, the second I joined as the same adult that still wanted to be able to afford to spend hours on whim and fancy. It's turned out to renew my daily percolation of creative ideas, and given me some interesting conflict over how I spend my creative energy. For a few weeks, I was very distracted with the new ideas of the new game that it got in the way of my other writing. It was then that I realized that I had gotten a bit away from my control, that I could be creative for however long I wanted, but my focus had become flabby and unused. The next step in wrangling myself will be to get a leash on that particular quality.

Then there's the patience. The applications were submitted last month, but I feel like I might have more than a month to wait, even for a rejection. Also, I have another idea coming to me, but it's forming at about the speed it takes for ketchup to drip from a new bottle. I think that maybe if I start writing, it might come faster, but as soon as I focus on it, I think maybe it's moved a bit, and I go back to waiting. As terrible as it feels, the uncomfortable lack of control over the passage of events, I think I've gotten better at waiting. Someone actually used the word zen in relation to me the other day. There's always hope, I suppose.

So, I'm back, and I'll be around. I even got around to updating my main page to reflect how many books I have out now.

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