Sunday, February 28, 2016

The point points

I'm back to writing again, and the positive feelings and negative ones are mixing well together. I feel good in a vague sort of way, as if letting the words lie on paper lightens my spirit. I feel more energetic and excitable. Activity and smiles come easier. And I feel bad, right this moment between the first and second draft where I doubt the project's purpose, or my ability to execute it. It seems like a great idea to delete it and never mention it again to anyone. It isn't necessarily surprising, but I had forgotten that particular side effect of the first drafting. It's complete, and yet it is in its roughest possible state of completeness. No one can fault a sculptor for the look of a rough block of material, but after they've worked on it for awhile, if it still looks like nothing, doubt isn't far behind the confusion.

But, I'm back to writing again. Since finishing the sci-fi novel rewrite, I've been on a bit of an involuntary hiatus. One of those times when one gets distracted, but it just so happens to coincide with a break so it becomes less suspicious, so later when it's become pervasive, it can be a little disconcerting. Truth be told, while I've had the idea in the works for months, it was the idea of a couple friends getting together to share work monthly that finally roused me from sloth. I was lost in my own head to wonder why I hadn't been asked to partake, then I wondered if I could even have something new to present on a monthly basis. Then I thought that even if I could, getting to 12 still started with 1. Motivation is strange.

I'm also not sure how this happened, but when coming to the drafting of this story, I was able to ask the question of whether or not another person could read it and give me their thoughts. And I was able to ask it, in earnest, several times. I was able to ask it so many times that I thought I had asked the same person more than once. I think back to a time in college when I asked the question, and the other person was still trying to become my friend. It's different now, and I'm not quite sure yet exactly how. I'm thankful to have people to bounce things off of, so maybe this networking thing is working better than I thought.

Speaking of that, I found another author at my publisher who was praised for producing a "non typical" take on the supernatural framework. So now I'm in a review swap situation. I'm looking forward to talking with and getting to know yet another author. However, I am not sure if I signed up for this because I wanted to avoid the work ahead at finding an agent.

But self diagnosis aside. I'm back to writing.

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